Vanessa

My friend, who has struggled with an auto-immune disease for over 10 years, has died. She had a massive heart attack on Monday evening and her heart stopped long enough to cause severe brain damage. I went to see her last night before, according to her wishes in her living will, they turned off the support machines. She passed away about 30 minutes ago.

She was an infuriating mix of bossy, stroppy and pushy, but I loved her and I miss her terribly.

She made the world a more interesting, busy, lively place.

She made me go to Rio when I didn't want to and made me give a paper in Spanish when I didn't want to and pushed and pushed and pushed. I'll miss her incessant nagging, her phone calls reminding me of the things I have forgotten to to do, her short barking emails.

Most of all I'll miss the way she used to sit next to me and rest her gorgeous head on my shoulder and say, 'you OK, sweeitie?'

I grieve for her and for those she has left behind: her husband, her family, her friends, her students, and for the emptiness that cannot be filled.

I was with her last night in the hospital. I spoke quietly to her about the week, about what had been happening. She was unconscious, but I like to think she heard me. I hope she knows how much I'll miss her. As I left her I whispered to her 'bye sweetie... I know you'll lick them into shape wherever you're going'

and she will

Bye sweetie

Comments

[Franck]

I'm crying as I read this, and that's all there is to say... Bye Vanessa. Lost souls beware! There's a new angel in town!! F x

[Ann]

My friend Vanessa - there are no words to express my pain at her loss. She was warm, funny, and generous, and occasionally extremely aggravating. She shared with me the pleasures of both the highest academic thought and the trashiest of trash culture. The most supportive of friends and colleagues. I shall miss it all, terribly.

Ann

[Sinthome]

My thoughts are with you. There are no words for such things as a voice has become absent from the world. Thought, I think, always unfolds in friendship, even when that thought is solitary; and friendship is always far more than thought.

[blahfeme]

thank you sinthome

that's very kind. I just don;t know what I'm going to do wihout her.