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November 07, 2006

Where wilderness lies...

I have been here before
where the wilderness lies beyond and the empty spaces unfold like silk
to my eyes it is all clear
all open
all empty and bright
shiny with vastness
heavy with levity

bled from this place that is forever cramped and grey and tiny and petty and small, small, small

into the open
always moving
always singing out into this space that I have never seen

here in this terrifying space where all is small against its monstrous openness
I become small and one

singularity
empty

a mark on the sand

where wilderness lies beyond
and my song dies
and the heavy mark of unanimity

the burden of voices in unison
of windfuls of songing
of mouths open in unison turned against that wind

as if to say we are one

this unanimity

this gorge of markings into the empty space

this pouring forth

and so, against this unanimity
I am small

and so, against this gorging and gouging
I am but a mark

take me hence back to the cramped spaces
where the wilderness lies beyond as a promise
and the awfulness of its openness cannot belittle

cramped and grey and tiny and petty and small, small, small

and the wilderness lies beyond

August 25, 2006

Do you mean me?

To be referred to, to be quoted, sorted, circumscribed by the gesture of the upturned commas, single or double: what does this mean? To be linked to, to be pointed at, made part of a discourse, drawn in, made party to it, beholden to it, responsible, culpable? A with-writer, a conspirator, a friend? To reference, be drawn in, made party to..... this is a dizzying thing, a moment of radical alienation (is it me? Really? Am I really part of this – am I here at all in all this?). To reference, to draw in, to conjure up, to evoke.... oh this of all things, this more than anything is to make neurotics of us all.

And, to be as sure as writing lets my me (my me-ing, my being me), this, here, in this instance of scribble, this indeed is where writing breaks with the reader, where the Schreibgesindel fashions its anonymisations and flattenings, disavows the readerly and turns she or he hat reads into a cypher.

You are empty, my dear. You are merely your scribblings, your muted voicings, your clicky surfeit.

What is more (there is always more, it seems, always something that doesn't quite fit, match or hold itself in he serene composure we expect from reading) you are dead. Made still. Held here. In this place. This is what is become of you, you cipher, you figure, you SCRATCH, you CLICK.

Here in this simulated scratching that only references the scribble of the analogue of writing as trope, a tiny little stabbing of cold and disassociated digits, individuations that float in their own isolation tank of voicing. CLICK and again hovering over the mouse, back again, and here we go again around and around – spell check, make right, sort through and make neat, tidy, clean and neat... always neat... neat. This tiny motion of stabbing the marks that disavows the scratch, disavows the paper that we imagine the scratch to break into over, that disavows the materiality of writing as a continued, glissando of noise, the scat of the scratch: this is now gone forever.

The sin of the keyboard.

August 20, 2006

Nice this month

Some nice things worth following up this month:

Click here for a great piece by Bourdieu, which I'd not seen before: 'The Peculiar History of Scientific Reason' (thanks to wood s lot).

Click here for a great piece by Chloe Taylor in the current issue of Postmodern Culture, 'Hard, Dry Eyes and Eyes That Weep: Vision and Ethics in Levinas and Derrida'

Click here for the latest gorgeous post from spurious now entering in full his late jazz phase (we wish him a happy and blissful journey, cat...

August 09, 2006

gone

wolfman left me mauled and in shame. I slept in fits without reaching depth of sleep... always waking, startled, thinking about the attack

where will it end this reliving?

the wolfman has gone, but he will return... I summon him again and again

this shame is so heavy, so deep and yet so attractive

I am drawn to it as to something so intense and beautiful but which will burn again and again

like Freud's Zwangneurose, my sickness is to repeat

repeat

repeat

the wolfman is at the door

I am ready again

April 25, 2006

Listening with Kafka: a barred exit

In 1914, three years after composer Gustav Mahler’s death, Kafka began work on a short prose fragment, which he completed some time in 1917 and to which Kafka’s editor Max Brod later gave the title ‘Auf der Galerie’.

Click here to see the fragment in German

Click here to read the fragment in English

I want to begin by addressin the fragmen's writerly-performative quality. The structuring of the text around two incompatible narratives works as a critical play on the epistemological groundedness of authoriality and subject positioning.

This critical pleasuring in the ambiguation of the authorial/narrating voice also engages at least two incompatible ‘types’ of masculinity: the ‘active’ (but, perhaps, deluded) masculine hero and the passive (but, perhaps, less deluded, less aggrandised) weeping observer.

The two paragraphs effect this duality through both narrative and indexical means: for Roland Barthes, the structure of narrative is usefully articulated through what he terms nuclei or ‘kernels’, events in the narrative that are crucial for that narrative’s cohesion – events that cannot be dispensed with if the narrative (or diegesis) is transposed from one medium to another; the index is a medium-specific operator that fleshes out the bones of the chain of nuclei through an accumulative action, grounding the diegesis in the medium of its telling.

What is significant here is the way in which Kafka attempts to subvert this functional duality (a duality articualted by Lukács as the difference between ‘Beschreiben’ and ‘Erzählen’, finding a useful complement in Jakobson’s ‘metaphor/metonomy’ duality ) by fundamentally integrating the telling of the diegesis into its writing: Kafka heaps writerly (medium-specific) indices onto the telling such that it is inseparable from its writing, inseparable from its qualitative grounding as a specific mediality.

This classically ‘modernist’ gesture – the intense medialisation of an apparently universally translatable ‘message’ – is also readable as a set of quite specific meditations on cultural agency, gender and the location of what David Schwarz has termed the ‘listening subject’.

The first paragraph plays out a hyperbolically ‘Freudian’ narrative of masculine agency. The father proxy in the ring must at all costs be vanquished by the young visitor in order to save (win) the suffering sexualised (consumptive) equestrienne from her brutalisation at the hands of the monstrous father.

The equestrienne stands as the cipher of Verkehr between the two men, a ‘transaction’ that helps mark the patrilineal and Oedipal ground of masculinity and the woman’s place in that transaction as Waaren (literally ‘goods’ or ware). The visitor is thus able to activate his masculinity by penetrating the membrane of the circle along a teleological vector; the trauma of this violent action is marked by a sudden (putative) silencing of the music with a shout of ‘Stop!’.

This shout, ‘durch die Fanfaren des immer sich anpassenden Orchesters’ (‘over the fanfares of the incessant accompanying orchestra’), rises above the degraded Alltagsmusik of the circus in order to figure the visitor as the bearer of a reproachful, ‘higher’, cultural counter-capital. Moreover, not only does the visitor traverse the boundary of the ring, but he ‘plunges’ into it: ‘stürzte in die Manege’ (literally ‘would tumble, fall or plunge’, continuing the conditional mood). This precipitous drop into the ring adds to the sense of trauma at the visitor’s incursion, which, within the Freudian logic that this paragraph sets up, is a hyperbolic (pathological) overstatement of the act of penetration.

The epistemological trajectory of this paragraph is underscored by the deployment of a range of figurations of sonic materials which draw on contemporaneous imaginations of the music/noise dualism. In this first paragraph, sound(/music) engages a complex array of tropes. On the one hand, it helps characterise the paragraph as ‘monstrous’ through the Orchestra’s cacophonous Brausen: incessant, it churns out stock fanfares, and the other noises generated my inhuman mechanisms – ventilators, steam hammers – are indexical expansions of the core image of a merely utilitarian (commercial) music.

On the other hand, sound functions as the sonic channelling of two opposing engagements of power – (i) the patriarchal monstrous brutilisation of the equestrienne marked by the Brausen and (ii) the traumatic ‘Stop!’ of the visitor – both marked by a character-giving utilisation of sound, accompaniment versus voice. In this duality of inside/outside, the first engagement of power is environmental in character, part of a circular, circumscribed ‘inner’ territory of degradation that locates the father proxy at that centre, wielding a range of masculine cultural resources that are simultaneously canonic (masculine strength, the driver of the action) and dissident (cruel, brutal).

Sound marks this territory by ‘accompanying’ the action, figuring it as a degrading sadomasochistic spectacle that can be ordered for its audience by the addition of sonic markers, like a perverse Hollywood narrative, accompanied by a ‘hidden’ post-Wagnerian orchestra.

The second engagement of power is a highly charged singular act of ‘sounding out’, carried on the voice, a mark of exemplary masculine subjectivity, but also the duplicitous bearer of a masculinity in crisis: vocal production can be seen at the fin de siècle as a supplement to the canonical mediacy (mediality) of writing where, as Sarah Webster Goodwin amongst others has shown, ‘voicing out’ draws attention to the sonorous body and is therefore dangerous in that it is grounded in the delicate body-physical, that privileged (and demeaned) site of the feminine in the nineteenth-century misogynistic imagination.

In Kafka this stands for an atavistic but ironic ‘recuperation’ of a model of masculinity lost in the great administration of the law, lost to the figure of the impresario mediator – voice as a last hope in the face of the brutalising anonymity of public masculinity, commercial culture, mechanised production.

But all this is not so.

Or so the next paragraph would seem to suggest. The sudden eruption of the indicative mood is traumatic: as Boa puts it, ‘the thudding syllables come as hammer blows to destroy the speculative edifice of a possible story’ and it is no accident that Boa should reach for the metaphor of hammer blows, resonating the ironic hyperbolic ‘Zarathustran’ masculinity of the first paragraph and thereby underlining the epistemological incongruity of the second with it.

This paragraph, by positing a second epistemologically dissonant version of events alongside the first, forces the narratee to rethink the reliability of the first paragraph fundamentally. It is thereby tempting to think of the story as presenting two realities, one false and one true, the first paragraph clearly a fiction, the second marked as ‘real’ by the indicative mood.

Yet this reading assumes a simple mapping of verbal mood to narrator reliability which, I suggest, is difficult to sustain in the light of Kafka’s use of language here: whereas the ‘truth’ of the first is questioned by the conditional mood and by the overblown heroism of the young visitor with its hyperbolic Freudian sexual circus, the second is called into question by the dream-like tone of the language: it is unfolded, almost as if in slow motion, in a long chain of clauses all of which relate back to a single grammatical subject - the adoring grandfather figure [‘der Direktor… vorsorglich sie auf den Apfelschimmel hebt… sich nicht entschliessen kann, das Peitschenzeichen zu geben… neben dem Pferd mit offenem Munde einherläuft…’].

This relay of clauses fixed to a single subject is a masterful writerly play on the German structuring of the clause around verb positioning, the closure of each link in the chain marked by the finite verb, heaping narrative action upon action to draw out the narrative line, and the narratee with it, towards an expected closure; but that closure is attenuated; the equestrienne takes her bow and, in the strange dislocated coda marked out from the rest of the paragraph by a hyphen, a characteristically dissident use of punctuation, the visitor to the gallery weeps ‘without knowing it’.

The beautiful strangeness of this ending, its pointed and studied ambiguity, brings one to rethink the simplicity of the unreality/reality dualism, and to call that binarism into question, to leave the boundary between the two porous.

As in the first paragraph, the content of the second is underscored by references to sonic materials, and, like in the first paragraph, those materials help flesh out a pointed juxtaposition of active and passive masculinities by recognising two kinds of sound – voice and accompaniment: however, it is the ringmaster that has ownership of the voice here, crying ‘English words of warning’, ‘exhorting’ the groom to be careful, and, like the visitor with his ‘Stop!’ of the first paragraph, he implores the orchestra to be silent.

The silencing of the orchestra here underscores the epistemological dissonance between the two paragraphs: in the first, the voice is owned by the visitor and engaged as a reproach to the banality and cruelty of the circus; in the second, the voice is commanded by the ringmaster, and is engaged to structure the audience’s (narratee’s) attention drawing it to his ‘kleine Enkelin’, the skilful equestrienne, by the silencing of the orchestra.

In the strange coda, moreover, the visitor sinks ‘in the final march as if into a heavy dream’, activating that commonplace trope of music as a place where subjectivity is lost, a place of dangerous and debilitating pleasures. The music operates here like a ‘sonorous envelope’.

There is a tendency in the post-Enlightenment Western European imagination of music to perceive it as a way of ‘transforming’ or temporarily suspending everyday modes of being, of moving beyond the mundane into a higher (or at least different) state of consciousness.

In Kafka, this tendency takes on an ironic or critical edge: the great post-Schopenhauerian articulation of music as a kind of narcotic is here blocked by the crossing and cancelling out of exit trajectories. One way leads to the ludicrous over-articulation of masculinity in the plunging thrusting ‘Stop!’ of the first paragraph by the (assumed) silencing of the music; the second leads to a debilitated, foreclosed masculinity, in which the music envelops the visitor and returns him to a womb-like state in which ‘crying without knowing it’ marks his infantilisation, an abject returning to the semiotic.

In both instances, the ‘way out’ is barred.

April 23, 2006

he is beautiful

He is SO beautiful. I can hardly stand it. Tall, big, so big, with eyes that could start a riot. He moves like he could any moment reach over and snuff me out. His limbs are strong, lithe, big and notty, his arms indignant at their confinement to his t-shirt. I feel I could die in his vicinity.

I want to die, to get closer.

When will he give himself to me?

When can I submit to this bestial slab, or it to me?

A smile plays across his face like a thousand grass heads nodding in the wind in knowledge of something they should not know. It moves slowly from the fleshy corner of his large well-shaped mouth towards the middle, playing down along the tubes of meat, and for a moment the mouth half opens, breathless, moist

and quickly closes again

as the smile curls onwards to the other side of his face.

Under that nose, that impudent fleshy nose that lands so many punches, takes so many knocks, misshapen, tough, ugly and yet beautiful - that nose is a narrative, a complex space of memories, a countless retelling of encounters - under that nose the jaw sits in judgement, sallow, tight, hard, straight...

My desire for him is like a razor sharp incursion ino my being, a stick, a shove, a thump, a slap an intrusion.

Stung by my desire for him I turn and face the window. I hear him breathing I smell him sweating I know he is moving and I fear that more than I fear anything.

He is going to hit me...

the wolf is upon me...

I call him solitude.